Living under capitalism, we’ve been conditioned to thirst for more in nearly every aspect of our lives. This can give one a deep sense of unrest, of dissatisfaction, of never feeling quite good enough in our careers, our romantic partnerships, and even our friendships. The messages in advertising habituate us to a perpetual sense of lack, and estrange use from self-acceptance. To love oneself—to boldly proclaim our self-worth simply for existing—can seem like a radical act of resistance.
Much of this system gaslights us by peddling the lie that systemic inequalities are the pure fault of the individual. Lost your job due to the pandemic? Try harder. Struggling to find work (fulfilling or not) within a decimated job market? Try harder. Feeling exhausted and listless, like you’re not being “productive enough”? You know the chorus by now: try harder!
In Norway, they have a term called niksen, which translates to “do nothing, be idle, do nothing without any use.” This can seem practically blasphemous in our culture of endless burnout productivity, but there’s wisdom to be found in a practice of niksen. In doing nothing—and by “nothing” I mean activity that doesn’t have a desired result of earning income—we are forced to sit with our inner chatter. Usually the chatter is what we avoid by keeping moving, by distracting our minds with constant movement. To really be still is, for many, a wildly loud experience.
So if you’re going to truly do nothing, I recommend starting slow. Give yourself time to ease into things. For five minutes each day, what would it feel like to walk without music in your ears or a phone in your pocket? What if you picked up a pencil and sketched just because? What if you tuned up that dusty guitar and attempted to learn a new song, no matter how proficient your skillset?
We are not machines. We are not meant to live in a constant state of churning productivity. We are meant to play, to wander, to daydream and to move. If you grant yourself any gift this week, let it be the gift of niksen. Revel in the beauty of nothingness. Revel in the appreciation of who you are, in this very moment, simply existing. You are, and always have been, more than enough.
Some questions to help you check in with yourself this week:
What music is inspiring you lately?
What emotions have challenged you?
Is there any art that has inspired you that you’ve been wanting to share?
How have you felt loved and supported lately? If not, why?
Have you struggled in any way lately that you’ve kept hidden? If so, what would it feel like to share it with a loved on?
What have your dreams been like this past month? Any recurring themes or images?
Did you observe anything recently in your daily life that made you stop and pay attention?
Who loves you right now in your life and how have they demonstrated it to you?
How are you, really?
LISTEN
1) I did not know I needed a curated DJ set of oud masters to get me through this week, but now it’s going to be a mainstay in my life.
2) I think Spanish guitar as an international Tone of Soothe. Rita Payés is one of my favorite young Latinx artists, and this track brings a warmth and levity to even the coldest of winter days. Recommend this one with your eyes closed.
3) Chick Corea, renowned jazz pianist, passed away this past week. Even if you don’t consider yourself a “jazz head,” it’s well worth your time to put on this 2018 performance as a detox for your day.
WATCH
1) Worried about how others are judging you during this pandemic? School of Life is here to gently remind you that no one cares!
2) Amber Ruffin with the most concise and damning explanation of American policing’s unequivocally racist origins.
READ
1) It seems like many of us have fallen in love with fungi this past year, and for good reason: living mostly within the confines of our houses—and with the demise of the natural world a wallpaper backdrop to the news—many of us feel compelled to understand the wonders of the natural world. If you’re still here (and haven’t fled at the mention of fungi), give this New York Times Magazine deep-dive into the world of fungi a chance.
2) Some of us spend our lives—whether single or paired up—searching for the secret to sustaining love. This article explores the power of an underrated element in our romances: friendship.
AN END NOTE
It’s a lonely world out there. We are all doing our best to make it through these days, these bizarre liminal spaces with no end date. Think about how far you’ve come since last year. Think about all the obstacles, individual and collective, you’ve overcome and endured. It is absolutely tremendous.
Be kind to yourself, and even gentler with your spirit. You deserve that, at the very least.
Hold fast,
Phil